TRUE LOVE

What seems to be difficult today to keep a couple. Is it because we intend to require others to be as we want and we can not accept others as they are and fight less?
Why people get tired of being with someone you think will be different with someone else? This shows an excess of optimism.
The problem is never the person with whom we interact but how we relate.
Love at first sight is not accidental that we through the heart from side to side, but it is something you can learn. It is not about finding the perfect person, but a skill to be acquired.
Immature young people experience love as mature people learn to love, because the emotional maturity is characterized by emotional stability.
Love is not easy because it requires a sense in advance a personal development a provision allowing for others only selfless love, with an attitude of humility, confidence and strong will.
They say that whoever is able to understand another also means to know and understand love.
Erich Fromm says that love is an art that requires knowledge and effort.
Most believe in romantic love and concern is finding someone to love them instead of finding someone to love, because that gives true love, not possessive, you also receive genuine love.
It can happen to anyone the miracle of falling in love madly, but that feeling of unity and intimacy only by its very nature is short-lived, until you get to know well and realize that not tolerated, bored, and disillusioned.
Nobody can believe that true love is an art to be learned, because some are confused and looking for a partner as anyone looking for an apartment or car, that is, that will produce the feeling of having done a good business and the couple is be an asset in a market where most everything is bought and sold.
In such cases it is a doomed enterprise, more emphatic than in any other activity and more difficult to assess.
In life today all study and work to get a title or a promotion at work, but nobody is willing to learn to love. In this area the most plays by ear.
"It's not good that man should be alone" says the Bible, written by scholars of antiquity inspired by divine revelation. But now the man prefers the isolation and the cult of the body, giving up the chance to share your life with someone significant.
Many try to escape their loneliness through drugs or alcohol but the effects disappear when the empty feeling tends to flare up.
He boasts of his individualism but in reality has lost its individuality and has become an automaton.
Women, in their desire to be equal to men have lost their femininity and thus also the possibility of erotic love with the opposite sex, because they are now identical.
True love means union and mature, while retaining both their own individuality. Love is possible only in freedom, envy, jealousy, ambition, passion and love are not a passion is an attitude, a human, not compulsive. There is a sudden outburst but a permanent disposition is more about giving than receiving.
And give not mean giving up or deprived of something, sacrifice and impoverished, but is the most beautiful expression of power that produces happiness and vitality.
Although it is not only material things to give each other but also be very vitality, which is alive in each, their joy, their interest, understanding, knowledge, humor, sadness and all expressions of each one.
Something produced in the act of giving love and more love.

¿What is true love?

Why do not I fall? What is love? Am I really in love? Thousands of women ask themselves these questions every day. Often after a large initial infatuation, while comes a disappointment or a bore.

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What happened?

Maybe we can find an answer in the definition of what constitutes true love: would the combination of desire, affection and friendship.

A couple is united by the presence of these three elements and moments of happiness are due to the balance of these psychological mechanisms. Each of these factors is a major part of what we know as "True Love".
Desire is the infatuation, passionate love. It's makes you feel "crazy love" is a love that hurts and is related to the erotic and sexual. Friendship is sharing, caring for the other, being together in good and bad situations. And tenderness is so pleasing, mime, non-violence.

This formula seems to be quite effective but not easy to achieve. When any item is missing, the feeling is of disappointment and dissatisfaction.

The truth is that often couples are "hooked" by some of these elements, usually the desire, with absence of the other two and then evaporates when desire ends the couple.

True love says the passion, affection and understanding, and avoid jealousy and control, so it lasts longer and produces more pleasure.

It is love that produces energy, makes you want to fight and change, as well as comfort at all times.
To avoid mistakes, it is best to go in peace without being desperate to find it and that's when then appears. And remember that when love brings joy and peace appears, if it brings problems and crying is not true love.

¿How to recognize true love?

To know the characteristics of true love, we will see the difference between what is passion and love. Between what is carnal love and spiritual love.
The passion.The flame of a passing desire
Episode 1: "Love at first sight"
14:1 says: "Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he went and told his father and his mother said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines, I beg the toméis wife. And his father and his mother said there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all our people, that thou goest to take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines ? And Samson said unto his father: it Take me to wife, because she likes me. " (The Jerusalem Bible translates it this last sentence: "because that is what I like.") Verse 5 says that Samson went down with his father and mother to Timnah.
Here is a man who falls in love as we commonly say "at first sight" of a woman. She was a Philistine, that is, belonged to a pagan people. Samson's parents tried to dissuade him, but did not. He insisted: "That is what I like." His parents were not strong enough to resist the decision of Samson. Finally, it happened that Samson was married to this woman.
However, the relationship ended sadly, because he felt that Samson mocked by posing a riddle in the wedding banquet, which was answered by the guests. Then he killed some people to fulfill the bet, and went "on to anger" (v.19) to the house of his father. "And Samson's wife was given to the comrade, whom he treated as his friend." (20).
What have we here? An immediate and fleeting infatuation. A woman who "goes" through the eyes of Samson, and that the captive. Then he forces father's will, violates the laws of the Lord to take a foreign woman, and ends in a terrible failure, in a tremendous disappointment. Even with the murder of several people.
Episode # 2 "The passion of a moment"
But, moving on. Chapter 16. "Samson went to Gaza and saw there a harlot, and went to her" (ie, "had sex with her"). And it was told to Gaza, Samson has come here. And they surrounded him, and stalked across to the door that night in the city (because all the enemies of Samson wanted to capture), and were quiet all night (while Samson was with the woman), saying: Until morning light , then kill him. Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the city with his two posts, and went, they were on his shoulder, and went and climbed to the top of the hill that is before Hebron . "(vv.1-3)
Samson plays with his strength. He mocks his enemies. He flirts with women. And then falls under its seductions. We've had two women in the life of Samson, in a short time.
Episode 3: "In the networks of a wise woman"
Vers.4. "After this pass, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah."
Samson and Delilah. Everyone knows of this couple. She has given topic for movies, books, songs and many stories. She was also Philistine. Samson fell in love with her. Scripture says that this woman actually did not feel anything for him, on the contrary, she was used by the enemies of Samson to try to get information about where it came from his extraordinary strength, and how they could defeat him.
From the beginning, Delilah began to bother, saying, "I beg you to declare what is your great strength, and how you can be bound to be dominated." Samson said several things, they made several attempts to catch him, but he says in v. 16: "It happened, she pressed daily with her words and intruding, his soul was vexed unto death. We discovered, for all his heart, and said," Never come a razor to my head, because I am a Nazarite of God from the womb of my mother. If I be shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak and be like all men. "
At that time the fall occurs Samson. He was so importunate women, whether is seduced by this wise woman, who finally unveils the secret of his strength, it was a secret between him and God. He found his heart in front of an uncircumcised woman, and then he fell asleep on her knees, and she cut her hair. He lost his strength, came the enemy were captured and Samson at the mill spinning like a beast of burden, as shameful.
Samson is, perhaps, the character of the Bible that best illustrates what love is passionate. Love at first sight, or infatuation. What is a fleeting feeling, which has no stability.
Samson was a man gifted, capable, full power, full of spiritual resources. But he offered in exchange for a passion with three women.
The end of Samson's sad. What was the big deal? He was a sensual man, a passionate man who lived by the desires, impulses and appetites of the soul.
Consider his example, because it will serve later.
Amnon and Tamar: "How to" love "turns to hate"
Now we flash forward a bit more in Scripture. 2 Samuel ch. 13.
Let's see the story of two sons of King David. As you know, the kings of Israel had many wives, and these two young men, the male-Amon and his sister Tamar, were sons of David, but different mothers, so they were half brothers.
Tamar was a beautiful girl. He says in verse 2: "And Amnon was anxious to get sick from his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin because it seemed to him that would be difficult Amnon anything." Amnon fell in love with her sister so hard, with a fire so overwhelming, I was anxious to get sick from it.
What kind of love was this? In the last sentence of this verse tells us what love was, "Because she was a virgin, he thought it would be difficult Amnon make anything." His intention was not really love her, but "do something". We know what you mean by that.
Amnon was lovesick. Then a friend of his, when he saw him so sad, he said, "Look, I do I have the solution. Do the following: Declare sick. The king, your father, I will come to see, and you tell him that you want your sister Tamar come and see you and you something to eat. "
Being that they were brothers, would be all very normal. The plan to perfection. The king came to see him. Amnon made the request. He sent Tamar to come and prepare something to eat - a favorite dish of it, and at one point, when she was in the pan which he had prepared, he would not eat. "And Amnon said: Put out all here. And all went from there. Who were the" all "? Servers. Remember that he was a prince. Then Amnon said to Tamar," Bring the food into the bedroom to I eat from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes she had prepared, took them to her brother Amnon in the bedroom. And when she put him the meat, and caught it (took), and said: Come, my sister, lie with me. (The intention was obvious). She said to him: No, my brother, do not do violence, because not to do so in Israel. Do not do such villainy. Because where could I carry my shame? And even thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. I pray thee therefore, now, speak to the king, that he did not withhold me from you. (She suggests that the request to the king, but understood, as his wife. In those days, there were certain kinship marriages, so could he get to have her as a wife if he wanted). But he did not want to hear (why? Because I do not want a wife, not really loved), but being stronger than she, forced her and lay with her.
Then Amnon hated her with so much hatred, that hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved. Amnon said to him: Arise, and go. (What harsh words!) And she said: No reason, a greater evil is this to throw, that I have done. But he did not want to hear, but calling his servant who served him, said, Give me to it out of here (It was her sister, but uses the word "it", generally used to indicate a woman of low ), and closes the door behind her. And she wore a dress of many colors, wearing the costume of the kings virgin daughters (she was a princess). His servant, then, cast out, and shut the door behind her. Tamar put ashes (which was the way in which the Jews expressed great pain) and threw it over his head, and tore the clothes he was wearing colors, and put his hand on his head, he was screaming.
"And her brother Absalom said to him (he was the brother of father and mother): Has your brother Amnon been with you? Well, now silent, my sister, your brother is, do not worry your heart for it (because he talks about comfort, although he was angry with Amnon). And Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. And when king David heard this, he was furious. But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, though Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. "
You know what happened next. Since that day, Absalom began to plot the death of her brother Amnon, and finally had him killed. The king had a daughter not only disgraced, and a vile son, but had a dead son, and another fugitive son.
How was it caused all this? For the love? Was that love? No, that was a passion. This is the "love alternative" meat offering, and the world today. This is the love that is on everyone's lips. Released today and goes tomorrow. Around the heart of man as a network to do ill.
And to think that love is that when a person feels, thinks it's the love of his life, and that after this person (behind it) there will be no other, there can not be, throughout the universe. However, many times, after achieving the goal, that is to satiate the appetites, hatred becomes deeper, the absolute rejection.
Even if you had not ever read this story before, this is not what is usually seen every day? The Bible is not an outdated book. It is very much alive.
True love.
Now, let us show you a little the other side. Asomémonos a little genuine love.
Trusting in God's choice
Let's go to Genesis 24. This is perhaps one of the most beautiful chapters of the Bible. We will be summarizing and reading a few verses.
Isaac is the only son of his father Abraham. Is the heir of all goods. It's a boy happy and blessed. It has it all without having done anything. Only child. His father sees that it is time that his son married. Then, send the most important of his servants, the administrator of all their property, and says, "Look, I do not want my son to marry a woman in our neighborhood, because these people are impious and idolatrous. I want you go to the house whence I came, far away, hundreds of miles, making gifts, camels, and food for many days. soulmate companions, make a caravan, and walk, bring a wife for my son. And his servant was.
He was shivering in her heart for the tremendous responsibility. He could not fail nor his greater love, or his love small: the young Isaac. He was praying. Surely not sleep well on those nights in the open, asking God to direct him. And when he arrived, prays: "Lord, for thy servant Abraham, means that when I get to that place, I found by chance and with the woman that you have for a wife to my love child."
Vers. 15: "And it happened before he had finished speaking (to make this appeal to God), behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor, came out with her pitcher on her shoulder . And the damsel was very beautiful, a virgin, no man had known, she went down to the fountain, and filled her pitcher, and came up. "
The servant, by praying to God, had also a sign. He had said: "The first girl that I found, to which I ask him to drink, and that not only give me a drink of me, but also animals that be." Then start the test. He asks for a drink. And the girl, who was not only beautiful, but it was also diligent, gives him something to drink, and the camels. Something unusual! A young well-bred. A wealthy young woman gives water the camels. That's not normal. That was the response to a request from the servant! Then he asked to be identified. He was a relative of his master Abraham!
When he saw what was happening, he says (v. 26) that "the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord." He could not resist. I was so excited by what I saw, leaning, falling down and worshiped God, because He had answered his prayer.
Then she takes him home, and he tells the family what is the purpose of your trip. So they, knowing all things, tell the servant, "To the Lord did this come we can not speak bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her and go, and let her be the son of thy Lord, as saith the Lord. "
When Abraham's servant heard their words, bent to the ground before the Lord. And the servant brought forth jewels of silver and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah also gave precious things to her brother and her mother. And he ate and drank and men who were with him, and slept, and rose early, said: Send me my Lord. "I had accomplished its mission. Now had a wife for his master.
Then the brother and her mother said, "Wait for the girl with us at least ten days and then leave." (Do not take her away, we still enjoy it a bit). Then he said, "Please do not stop me, I immediately want to go where my Lord." Then they said, "We say yes, you say no. Settle this matter in the following way: let's call her, she decides. If you want to go away, go away, no no, it stays with us ten days. "
"And they called Rebekah and said unto him, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go." (V.58).
The road was several days. Surely the servant was telling Rebecca what his young master, and everything he was saying, she was falling in love more and more. After several days, says verse 62: "And Isaac came from the well of the Living-than-me-see, for he dwelt in the south. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field to the afternoon (It was a quiet man, had gone to meditate. His heart was waiting. His wife appear at any time. How he would pray asking God to the servant he was right!), and lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, the camels were coming.
Rebekah lifted up her eyes and saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel, because he said unto the servant: Who is this that walketh in the field toward us? And the servant had said, It is my Lord. (This is my Lord!) She took a veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. And Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and took Rebekah to wife, and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. "
We note here some important details that show a contrast with what happened to Samson. Scripture says that Isaac was meditating in the evening - had prayed intensely. He did not know his wife. Another chose for him. He had hoped that God would choose the right woman for him. And then, when they married, says that "loved". It's that simple. He loved her.
Then, knowing the rest of the story of Isaac, we see that it was a happy marriage. They had two children, and nothing disturbed the life of that marriage. Instead, when we see Samson, what do we find there? He falls in love over and over again. "He falls in love." Instead, Isaac, without knowing it, and just trusting in God, "he loved."
Realidad.Tal Trasladémonos our time you have the following observation: "Ah, but those were different times! Today is not for doing so. It would be outdated, ridiculous that the father of a young wife to find him his son, and on top wear a third person to choose. " It's true. Today the style is not so.
But what is the principle that we must draw from this? The principle is this: In reality, the wife of Isaac chose not raised, neither Abraham nor Isaac. These three people are involved in the case had nothing to do except check the choice God had made. God chose her!
Samson shows that when a woman enters through the eyes of a man and falls captive and with that passion that Amnon was a disease, then its outcome is tragic, because God is not involved in that. There was not taken into account to God.
The big difference is, then, if God is involved or not. If the wife (or husband) was chosen by God, if only to please the "eyes" that "falls".
But a little further and see another case.
Love the sweet hope
Genesis 29:20: "And Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed a few days, because he loved her."
Here the father of the bride gets the following condition: it was necessary to buy it, so he bought with seven years of work. Imagine what they are seven years. In seven years, a young medical student reaches his career complete. In seven years a young boy becomes an adult and a young man. However, Jacob "seemed a few days, because he loved her."
What can we to conclude from here? You know, times change, customs change, but God's principles remain. What is the principle here? That genuine love is unchanged, remains, and you can expect. Thus there is no such thing as a pure and genuine love that is both so passionate, so overwhelming that two young men forced to marry now. No such thing.
Genuine love, the love of God can wait as long. As is true has no problem with the tinsel, which corrupts and rusts. Genuine love is like gold. No matter who is in the wind, and subject to all temperature changes, and all circumstances. Remains the same. That is the principle.
Here is a little more about this love. Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it."
Of all the great things that are said in this verse, we will rescue a sentence, which says, "and gave himself for it." Genuine love does not have all the arrows and all directions geared toward the "I", but everything points to the "you". So that possessive love, sensual love that seeks delight, and looking for the aggrandizement of the ego, that is not love.
But so far we have not said anything yet about the true love!
The origin and nature of true love
Please go to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. "Love is patient and kind, love does not envy, love, love is not boastful, not arrogant, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, rejoiceth not injustice, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
True love does not reside in the soul, but in spirit. If you are not familiar with the terms "soul" and "spirit", we'll explain a little. The soul is the intangible, of course, where our personality, where our will, our intelligence, our feelings and affections. These are the three great powers of the soul. This corresponds to the self, to my way of being, in my person. People who do not know God has two parts in your being that are running: the soul and body. But when a person is born again, then revive your spirit, which is where the Spirit comes to dwell in God.
Everyone in the world, no matter whether they are children of God or not, has in his soul the power of love, hate, angry, sad, to have feelings, emotions, and have a capacity to decide. Love "passion," Samson's this love, this love of Amnon, is a love that resides in that part of your soul.
Instead, spiritual love, the love of Isaac, and Rebekah and Jacob's love, the love of Christ for the church, the love spoken of here in 1 Corinthians 13 is not from the soul. It is not just a feeling, not the simple thrill of feeling pleased the side of the person you love. It is also an emotion, is also a sense of spirit, the inner one has the inside after one has known the Lord.
So, though this may be strong, we must say: true love does not lie in who has not known God. We just do not know. Meet an imitation, an imitation, a caricature, a shadow. Something that "looks", but it is not.
And you know what it says, for many couples, the love they have known? Often it is simply a fellowship, a mutual fund, because they both need each other, because they should be together. Both take advantage of each other. But they do not know true love.
We as children of God have therefore the option to really love. The world has no choice. They love the only love I know the feeling and passion of the soul. But we have two choices: have the love of the soul which can feel like them, and we love as a fruit of the spirit that lies in our hearts, and that is God.
The world exacerbates this kind of passionate love, which originates, not from within, the spirit, but that part of the senses, by what you play, so you smell, by what you hear. Exacerbates the music, petting it exacerbated, exacerbates the gaze. And outward beauty, which is the garment which carries a person.
The world does not know the things we're talking about here. But today you not only have, but also the know. You now have a tremendous advantage. Because when you start to surface that tickle there after looking at a (a) young attractive (a), and then when you sleep at night thinking about him (or her), and feel the desire to be together , and exploded in the heart deeply moved to be with him, and everything we know: sweaty palms, trembling legs.
All this, dear girl, you feel today and gone tomorrow. And how many times has happened, has happened to us-that what today seems the purest love, more perfect, before long, there is absolutely nothing like that, or is, instead, a deep hatred, or a terrible disappointment caused by damage or by the treachery of another.
Amnon's love turned into hatred greater than the love I had before. And so often. Thus, there is a big difference between the passion that comes from the soul, and true love that is spiritual.
The death that leads to life
Some of us Christians that we have some time walking, we fell in love and got married without knowing these things. You know, brother? Look, we're going to count.
At one point in our life when there was the need to "transfer" of the affections. The change from one area to another. And it was not without pain. Eventually that love of the soul we felt towards our wife disappeared. With the first problem, the difficulties disappeared. And we finished definitively separated, like many couples in the world, because that love is gone. It's just an enthusiasm, a passion to be satisfied soon, because it is also highly dependent on sex and physical.
And then comes the routine and all things proper to a single partner. Then, at that time was necessary to produce change. He disappeared the love of the soul. But grief and anguish of seeing the disappearance of a feeling so loved and so idealized, the Lord, in His grace, put that deep love, that love of the spirit. That love does not change, and does not depend of the attractions of the other person, or the merits of the other person, but up to God the giver. It is a love that envelops everything and is capable of love but one is not loved. And who is able to overcome all differences, and forgive all that is necessary to forgive. I think that has happened to many of us, those who are older.
But we hope that our beloved youth is not necessary. And that from the beginning, the love that your heart with the person to whom God chose, is this deep love that knows no waning or shadow. So be it. Let's put our trust in that.